I
need to go underneath the soft covers into the thoughtless
dark, into blindness where touch is paramount. Need to feel skin
and bones and hair, curlicue shapes and soft lobes, sinews of neck
and arm muscles, long lengths of femur and shin, to touch toes,
to find silkiness or bumps, rough flesh and hairs, crinkles and
folds. But all interlocking, no space between me and them.
No east, no sunrise. The stars and planets are
static. Has the earth stopped spinning? Will we all fall off? Clouds
are still moving but in the wrong direction. A wind is blowing strongly
from the north-east and the clouds are mixed. Some are like buildings
- tall, curvy confections. Some are horizontal strips. And some
are fluffy escapees from bigger structures. A tree creaks. |
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Now
that it’s never night, we are losing our reason. The cows
and the horses are bewildered and don’t know how to sleep.
Rabbits expecting twilight are disappointed and growing thin. They
have no proper time for eating. Cats have come up from their urban
places and bask in sheltered spots, then catch butterflies and moths
to eat, but the shrews and mice are hiding. Far away a train hoots
its two-tone sound, so we are somewhere in the centuries of train,
and things are still running to some sort of timetable. Who might
be travelling at a time like this when our whole world is altering
and could die.
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South.
The dying man on the dry grass. His lungs are failing.
The air won’t flow. And his blood is slowing down. Everything
about him is parched. He’s fast-forwarding into death, shrivelling
in front of our eyes. But he has no injury; there is no blood. He’s
just ceasing and draining. His eyes are open but seem unseeing and
the blue-ness of them is fading into the whites. His mouth is a
gaping dry hole. The stubble on his chin is bleached and the skin
is grey. His fingers grasp bonily at the grass stalks. How important
is his death? All the time we are figuring out the significance
of things. A piece of crumpled paper blown by the wind lands on
the grass. On it is some writing – a message from one child
to another. They had to meet in a garden to talk about their friendship.
Is this as important as the dying man? Or more? A tree creaks, moving
against itself in the wind. A dry soundtrack to the silent rasping
of the dying man. |